Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
