Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
