I didn't shave. On purpose
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
