OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
