whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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