No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
This is my gift to your gina
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
