I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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