if i died would you start the facebook group?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
