she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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