This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Randomize