i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
