let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
