Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
