wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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