I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
