What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
It's rum buckets o'clock
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
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