You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
