is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
