im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
