it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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