hell yes lets make some ravioli
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
