I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
should my penis look like a turkey
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
