Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Four minutes until I can fart!
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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