Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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