Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
