Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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