how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
no. you can't hotbox the world.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
