her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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