you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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