YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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