I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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