I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
