Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
