Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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