Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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