I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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