Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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