3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Couch. On fire.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
