I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
