exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
