So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Randomize
