what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
