i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I stole a fireplace last night.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You made out with two different species that night
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
