I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
