she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize