that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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