You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
