I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
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