Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
