The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
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