your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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