White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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