Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
