i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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