you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
