im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
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he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
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AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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