Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
