just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
