I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
