Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Boobs speak an international language.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
