i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
