Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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