I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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